Friday, March 26, 2010

dear stupid little book,

This is a diary entry. I suppose you can call it.
My boyfried is out tonight.
When did my job become to stay at home and end up role playing
a 1950's fucking house wife?
University is shitting me.
Sometimes i feel it's so meaningless.
I'll end up some stupid, middle-aged cashier at coles or some shit.
Letting underage kids buy smokes and liquor.
Go! Fuck your lives up.
Go! Give your self liver or lung cancer
Go! get the fuck away from me.
jesus christ!
There has to be a word that describes someone who is not in poverty
But has no money.
Not really classed at 'poor' cause there is a roof over their dumb heads
But still can't actually afford to eat sometimes.
Or pay the bills on time, if at all.
Is that called "middle-class" citizens?
piece of shit!
Whinging about my life.
I'm 20 for fuck sake.
Health isn't too immaculate either.
Bonus? Meh.
Can't concentrate on anything. It's frustrating.
Listening to Green Day, thinking...
What it be like if my life was like a mixture of
'Party Monster' and 'Requiem for a Dream'
that's intense.
I wish i was apart of something radical.
Piss some people off.
Nope, i'm nothing.
I do nothing.
I'm sure i never really see anything.
Hear anything
Do anything
Taste anything
Smell anything
Feel anything.
It's all an illusion.
A worthless, pitiful illusion.
Everything i said doesn't really exist, does it?
That's what it's like to go mad..
Mad as a hatter?
Spose even he is a figment of my imagination..
Pathetic, isn't it!